Two of the more common adages that you hear in day-to-day life are: “you can pick your friends, but you can’t pick your family” and “don’t ever go into business with your family”. Both sound remarkably sane and balanced. But is the second one really true?
How high are you on your own priority list? Just a rough guess, pretty low, somewhere below the dog/hamster/goldfish…and the goldfish died two months ago. We believe you should be near the top, or even number 1. There is a saying ‘you can’t pour from an empty cup’ and as ex business owners, we know the consequences of putting yourself last because you have so much piled on top of you. It can lead to you feeling resentful, exhausted, trapped and lost. It can impact your health, your relationships, your life and your business. But who do you turn …
Equanimity is for any business where relationships between principals are fractured, tense, toxic or at an impasse; any business being affected by tension; any business where conflict needs to be resolved; individuals experiencing a negative personal affect from a business relationship and partners who want to exit the business.
Selfishness. Horrible isn’t it. How many times have you said under your breath “….what a selfish person…..” and then done a judgemental tut tut tut? Selflessness, that is the way forward isn’t’ it? You must always put other people and their aspirations first, don’t you? Well, no you do not; actually, you can be kind, caring and attentive in both your professional and personal life without always putting yourself at the back of the queue, always giving so much of yourself away. Sometimes it is right to put yourself at the front of the queue.
No, we haven’t gone all mid Atlantic on you; conflict does suck. It sucks out motivation, enjoyment, resilience, and collaboration. It can damage partnerships, reduce effectiveness, and destroy enjoyment.