Permission to be selfish

Selfishness. Horrible isn’t it. How many times have you said under your breath “….what a selfish person…..” and then done a judgemental tut tut tut?

Selflessness, that is the way forward isn’t’ it? You must always put other people and their aspirations first, don’t you?

Well, no you do not; actually, you can be kind, caring and attentive in both your professional and personal life without always putting yourself at the back of the queue, always giving so much of yourself away. Sometimes it is right to put yourself at the front of the queue.  Everybody has a limit and if the events of the last 18 months have proved anything many people have burst through that limit and felt broken both mentally and physically.

And when you are broken, your self-esteem and confidence evaporate and your ability to meet your responsibilities is seriously diminished.

This is particularly true in a business partnership. Everyone starts with good intentions to be fair and equitable, however the innate goodness and generosity of so many people means that they acquiesce too often and put their needs and desires second, third or last!

Well, that has to stop. You need to restore a balance, a genuine state of equanimity. This hackneyed term of “selfishness” needs to be reassessed and redefined. Giving more time and attention to your desires and dreams is a tremendously positive position to take and does not have to be detrimental to anyway else in your workplace. Sometimes it is not “selfish” to put yourself first. Restore your strength, rebuild, and strengthen your composure and make sure that you are fully engaged and ready to reinvigorate you business and personal life.

Putting yourself first from time to time, could re-energise your business relationship. When you know that you’re doing good work and being rewarded both financially and mentally, then this refreshed enthusiasm will act as multiplier. Your colleagues, clients and suppliers will benefit from it.

Find a time, on a certain day, in any given week and put yourself front and centre. Always be kind, but stand your ground, make your point, and make sure that you are heard.

A bit of equanimity is no bad thing.