Conflict sucks

No, we haven’t gone all mid Atlantic on you; conflict does suck.

It sucks out motivation, enjoyment, resilience, and collaboration. It can damage partnerships, reduce effectiveness, and destroy enjoyment.

Conflict does suck but it can be part of the business process and so must be carefully managed. Sometimes conflict can lead to new discoveries and boost creativity so the key is to make sure that the journey doesn’t cost you your relationship.  

Despite the best efforts of all parties, conflict can leave scars, underlying wounds on people and organisations. Without attention the wounds never properly heal.

What does conflict look and sound like? Conflict can mean different things to different people.  For instance, one person’s seemingly aggressive, dogmatic behaviour can be viewed by some as assertive and driven, yet to others it is offensive and overbearing. Whereas, some successful executives are comfortable with silence, choosing to manage situations and people more calmly, others prefer a more boisterous, vocal approach.

So that begs the question; can some conflict in a partnership, or between executives, be viewed as a good thing? Can conflict ever be healthy, and if yes what level of conflict is acceptable?

What is never acceptable is when executives feel so brow-beaten by colleagues that they choose to suffer in silence, feeling exhausted and defeated.  This can create a toxic and debilitating environment, which leads to a dysfunctional organisation.

Everyone is entitled to a voice, and everyone needs to be heard. All partners need to accept and understand that their colleagues’ opinions, suggestions and experiences have real value. Lack of listening, appreciating and valuing your partner can lead to resentment and potentially a “whole world of hurt”.

It doesn’t have to be that way. Diplomatic relations can be restored if everyone starts talking and listening calmly in an equitable, open and moderated environment. We can provide that.


Equanimity’s purpose is conflict prevention and resolution. We begin with the assumption that it is possible to be assertive and collaborative at the same time. We completely agree that it is also possible to be cooperative and focussed on individual goals at the same time. You just need guidance and robust counsel. 

If your workplace has become a tense and strained environment, or your relationship with your business partners is now so broken that your personal goals appear irrelevant Equanimity can help. In fact, we are confident we can help with our affordable, accessible process that aims to bring you composure and resolution, putting you first and then the business.